


Soulless

by Kats_watermelon



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M, The Host AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-04
Updated: 2017-08-04
Packaged: 2018-12-10 13:35:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11692722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kats_watermelon/pseuds/Kats_watermelon
Summary: John Murphy disappeared one night after the invasion. As his friends are searching for him, his body is walking around, but with a slight difference - he's not the one in control.





	Soulless

**Author's Note:**

> Date night movie was the Host, and so this was born.

At first, there is only deafening silence.

Then Flamekeeper realizes he does not know what silence sounds like.

He opens his eyes slowly, adjusting to the bright lights above him. There is an odd smell in his nose, something his body identifies as antiseptic.

His body hates that smell.

_What the fuck._

Flamekeeper's eyes widen. There is _not_ supposed to be a voice in his head.

"Flamekeeper? Are you alright?"

_Who the fuck is Flamekeeper._

Flamekeeper sits up slowly, adjusting to this new body he finds himself in. There are limbs, four of them, with calloused hands attached and feet with ten toes. Flamekeeper wiggles his toes experimentally, quietly delighted by them.

"Flamekeeper." Flamekeeper looks up at his Healer and smiles. The Healer smiles back. "How do you feel?"

_Get the fuck out of my head._

"I feel good," Flamekeeper says, ignoring the voice in his head. Perhaps it will go away. He has never been to this strange planet before, so maybe the voice is only a symptom, soon to disappear. The Healer flicks through something on her tablet. 

_Where's Emori? Was she captured too?_

The voice sounds panicked this time, and Flamekeeper wonders who Emori is. He tries to probe his body's memory for a clue, but a wall slams down in front of him. It is almost as though his body is...resisting.

"Good, he's awake," a new voice says. The Healer's nose crinkles and Flamekeeper gets the sense that she does not like this new person. He turns his head to look at the new person. It is a tall man with dark skin and short hair. He smiles kindly at Flamekeeper.

"Hello," Flamekeeper says.

_Jaha?_

"My name is Thelonius Jaha," the man says. "I am the Seeker assigned to your case."

_That fucker. Of course he'd get himself hosted by a fucking Seeker._

The voice in Flamekeeper's head is so foul-mouthed. He wonders for a moment when it will go away.

_Never. Fuck you._

He guesses that is the best answer he will get.

* * *

It takes a few weeks for Flamekeeper to get used to his new body. It fights him every time it can, refusing to allow him access to its memories and leaving him only with confusing dreams. He tells Thelonius all that he remembers, but the resistance from the voice in his head makes it difficult.

From what he can glean from his sessions speaking to Thelonius, his body used to be a member of a small pocket of humans resisting hosting. Thelonius will not tell him how they came into possession of his current body. 

_Not easily, that's for fucking sure._

"When will you stop swearing?" Flamekeeper wonders, staring at himself in the mirror. His body is handsome, he thinks. He is sadly prone to stubble, but has kind-looking eyes set wide apart in his head and brown hair that flops in his eyes. His body likes it that way, so as a way of showing who is in control, Flamekeeper cuts it close to his head. He grips the edge of the sink, shutting his eyes and focusing on breaking through the wall that his body has thrown up between them. He cannot figure out what his body's name was. His body will not even allow him that. 

He begins to get a headache after a little while of trying and sighs, opening his eyes. He will just go to bed. He is meeting with Thelonius in the morning. Perhaps he will have some answers.

_Don't tell them about me._

"Why would I not?" Flamekeeper asks. "I must tell them everything."

_Then why haven't you yet?_

Flamekeeper thinks about it. Why has he not told Thelonius about it? 

"I do not know," he finally says. "It does not matter. I am going to tell him tomorrow."

_Whatever you say, asshole._

He climbs into bed and falls into an uneasy sleep.

* * *

_"John," she laughs. Murphy grins, grabbing her hand and letting her pull him up. She gestures for him to follow her to the summit._

_"Did we have to climb the mountain?" he asks. "I'm tired."_

_"You're missing the point, John," she laughs, and the sound is enough to bring a smile to Murphy's face despite his screaming muscles. "The point isn't that you're tired, the point is that we reached the top of the mountain."_

_Murphy stands up straight, slinging his arm around her shoulders. They look out over the valley, bathed in the setting sun._

_"It's so beautiful," she says, her voice soft and small. "You can almost forget about the alien invasion."_

_Murphy squeezes her gently._

_"Yeah, you almost can," he says. She inhales shakily._

_"I miss him."_

_"I'm sorry about Otan,"  Murphy says. "I wish I could have done something."_

_"Me too."_

_"We're still here, though," Murphy says, looking down at her. "We survived the aliens."_

_"We're survivors," she laughs, curling her hands around his. He lifts her left hand up to his mouth and gently kisses her knuckles._

_"I love you-"_

* * *

_Get the fuck out of my head._

Flamekeeper sits straight up in bed.  _John Murphy._ That was his body's name. John Murphy. Almost everyone he knew just called him Murphy, except - 

_No._

Flamekeeper grimaces, trying to break past the wall that Murphy has thrown up. He senses Murphy's panic. 

_Not her. You can't have her._

"We are not going to hurt her," Flamekeeper says, trying to reason with his body.

 _Like fucking hell you're not going to hurt her. You're going to shove someone else in her brain. You're going to try to_ erase _her, the way you want to erase me._

"Why am I even talking to you?" Flamekeeper demands, swinging his legs - _my legs, you parasite fucker -_ no,  _his_ legs out of bed. He must go to visit Thelonius.

_Jaha can go fuck himself._

"Will you please be quiet?" Flamekeeper says, annoyed. "It is very crowded in my head."

 _Good. I'm gonna be a pain in your ass until you get out of_ my  _head._

Flamekeeper sighs and puts on his jacket, leaving to go to Thelonius's apartment. He thinks of the dream that he had. He was climbing a mountain with a girl. A girl whose name was - 

Wall.

He almost growls in frustration and tries a different approach. She was pretty, with light brown skin and freckles. She had medium-length brown hair and her eyes - 

_Stop it._

Murphy's plea sounds almost....pained. It stops Flamekeeper in his tracks, literally. He stands in the middle of the sidewalk, frowning.

"What is it?" he asks.

_Stop thinking about her._

"What is her name?" Flamekeeper asks. "Maybe we can find her, and - "

_No. Not while I'm alive. I'll never let you get within a fucking mile of her._

Flamekeeper gives up on trying to speak to the voice in his head. At least now he knows the voice's name.

"Flamekeeper," Thelonius says pleasantly, opening the door to his office. "Come on in, sit down. Would you like something to drink?"

"No, thank you," Flamekeeper replies. "I had a dream last night. I have finally determined my host's name."

"Excellent." Thelonius folds his hands in his lap. "What is it?"

"He was called John Murphy. Most of his friends called him Murphy, except - "

_Shut the fuck up!_

The command is so forceful that it seals Flamekeeper's lips shut. He is surprised by the reaction. He had almost said a name. He tries to focus on the name that had been on the tip of his tongue, but it slips through his fingers like water. Thelonius leans forward, his eyebrows drawing together. 

"Is your body fighting you?" he asks. Flamekeeper still cannot speak, so he nods his head. Thelonius sits back, pressing his fingertips together. Murphy recognizes the gesture.

_He's about to tell you bad news._

"That is not unheard of," Thelonius finally says. "In fact, it's rather common with the hosts that we collect from the human resistance. Usually, the best way to handle this is by putting a new soul inside the host. This allows us to get the information we need without causing unnecessary distress to a soul."

Flamekeeper pries his lips open. 

"What kind of soul would you replace me with?" he asks.

"A Seeker, of course," Thelonius says. 

_I'll fucking die before I let that happen._

"I need to go," Flamekeeper says, standing. "I will.... I will think about it."

"Okay," Thelonius says. "Let me know if you remember anything new."

Flamekeeper leaves without saying anything more, which is very unlike him. For a terrifying moment, he cannot figure out which of them is in control - him or Murphy.

_Doesn't feel so good, does it?_

"Stop that."

Murphy enjoys being in control. He enjoys it for the brief moment that it lasts, because Flamekeeper wrenches control back from him. Murphy retreats to a corner of his head to sulk and Flamekeeper walks back to his apartment, trying to decide what to do.

* * *

_She's laughing, her feet up on the dashboard. Murphy smiles, his heart light._

They are happy.

_Her eyes are brown, with golden flecks and a mischievous glint._

Murphy is preparing himself for the operation that will take Flamekeeper out and put a new soul inside. He is burying himself in a happy memory, a memory of  _her_ , the girl that has constantly been in the back of Flamekeeper's mind. Other names have floated in and out - Bellamy Blake, Clarke Griffin, Raven Reyes - but the girl is constant. Murphy loves her.

Flamekeeper is so distracted by his thoughts that he does not realize that he has stood up and is walking out of the clinic. He cannot help but feel pity for John Murphy. He hates the souls so much, he cannot see all the good they've done.

_I don't need your fucking pity. And you didn't do good. You stole people's bodies. You stole their minds._

"We ended world hunger," Flamekeeper argues, his feet still moving without him realizing it. "Ended war."

_You killed billions of people._

Flamekeeper does not realize what is happening until they are out of the city. He panics. He has never been out of the city before. He doesn't know where they are. He is not in control. Murphy is in control, pushing his foot on the gas and turning the steering wheel. 

"Stop," he says. "Stop, I do not know where we are."

_Good._

Flamekeeper reaches into his pocket and flings his phone out the window. He narrows his eyes and focuses on taking control back. He has to regain control.

It takes a few minutes, but he wrenches the reins from Murphy's hands. The only problem is that he still does not know where he is. They are in the middle of the woods now, having left the road behind.

Then they run out of gas.

"Where are we?" Flamekeeper demands. 

_Does it matter? Get out and walk. Unless you want to die of starvation out here._

Flamekeeper does not, so he gets out of the car and begins to walk the way Murphy has instructed. He wonders at what point he started listening to the orders the voice in his head gave him.

"You distracted me," he says, accusingly. "So that you could get out of that clinic."

_I do what I have to to survive. If that means giving you a memory to latch onto like the fucking parasitic leech you are, so be it._

"You do not think highly of me."

_What gave it away._

"I want to help you, you know," Flamekeeper says. "You have been in my head long enough that I understand your pain."

_You've been in my head. I just want you out._

"You want to find her. The girl I keep dreaming about."

Murphy hisses.

_Don't talk about her. You don't get to talk about her._

"I did not choose this any more than you did."

_Like fucking hell._

"I did not have a choice in what host they would put me in."

_Please shut the fuck up._

A knife presses to Flamekeeper's throat and he freezes, fear turning every muscle to stone. He has heard about the violence of wild humans, but he never guessed he would be at the receiving end of it.

"You're going to come with me," a familiar female voice says from behind Flamekeeper. Murphy's relief washes through him and he cannot stop the word that flies from his mouth - a sigh, a prayer, a thank you to the universe.

"Emori."

Something hits his head and the world goes dark.

* * *

"What the fuck were you thinking?"

"He was just wandering through the forest. I couldn't just leave him."

"You're right. You should have killed it."

" _He_ is still John."

"That  _thing_ is not Murphy anymore, and now you've brought it straight into our camp. It's going to tell the Seekers and we're all going to get taken by the body-snatchers."

"Emori, Bellamy is right. We can't let it stay."

Flamekeeper's head hurts. He sits up slowly and realizes very quickly that there is a gun pointed at his head. He gulps, his eyes flicking to the man holding the gun. It is a tall man, his face covered in freckles and pale scars. He is also handsome, Flamekeeper thinks. Murphy puts a name to the face.

_That's Bellamy. He's probably going to kill us._

Flamekeeper wonders vaguely when it became "us", but is distracted by the people standing next to Bellamy. A blonde that Murphy identifies as Clarke and a scowling girl in a red jacket that Murphy tells him is named Raven. 

"Great, it's awake," Bellamy says. His voice drips anger, and Flamekeeper thinks that so much anger in such a beautiful man's voice does not fit. It does not belong.

Then Flamekeeper sees her. 

Emori has her left hand tucked away and she is watching Flamekeeper with an air of apprehension mixed with some hope.

_She looks the same. She still looks beautiful._

Murphy is straining against Flamekeeper's control harder than he ever has. He has missed Emori. 

She is the one that hit him in the head. Flamekeeper's head still hurts.

"John?" Emori asks softly, her voice breaking. Murphy is screaming in Flamekeeper's head, but Flamekeeper is not letting him take control this time. 

"My name is Flamekeeper," he says. Emori's eyes harden and she lunges towards him, Bellamy grabbing her arms to hold her back.

"Give him back!" she screams. Flamekeeper recoils a little, registering the angry tears in Emori's eyes. "Give him back, you fucking parasite!"

_EMORI!_

Flamekeeper winces at the scream, his chest pulsing with pain that is not his own.

"It's not Murphy anymore," Bellamy says. "We need to kill it."

"No," Emori says, pulling her arms out of Bellamy's grasp. She is watching Flamekeeper with an odd expression. "He's still in there."

"You're in charge of him," Clarke finally says. "If he tries to escape, I'll kill him myself."

* * *

Emori stares at the man in front of her. He looks like John, sounds like John, but he's not John. But sometimes she swears she can see a flicker of him in those eyes, tainted with a silver ring.

"How did they get him?" she finally asks. John's body shrugs.

"They would not tell me."

"You don't remember yourself?"

John's body hesitates and Emori tilts her head. Something is odd about this parasite. She can't put her finger on it, but something is off.

"I cannot... I cannot get to his memories."

"How did you know who I was?" she asks.

"I used to dream of you."

Emori recoils a little at that thought. This....thing, this  _parasite_ had dreams about her. 

"Why?"

"He misses you."

Emori sits up straight, staring at him.  _He misses you_. John is still in there. 

"He's still in there," she says. He looks away from her. Anger rises in her chest and she lunges forward, grabbing his face in her hands and forcing him to look at her. He doesn't flinch at the touch and she sees a flicker in his eyes. A silent conflict raging behind those silver rings. His eyes drop to her lips. "Talk to me, parasite. John is still in there, isn't he?"

John's body swallows.

"Yes," he says, barely above a whisper. "He will not stop shouting."

Emori releases him, backing away. John is in there.

"I have to tell Bellamy," she says. "John's alive."

"What will you do with me?" the parasite asks.

"I don't care what happens to you," Emori snaps. "I just want you out of his head."

"That is what he always says. Although he is usually much more foul-mouthed."

Emori smiles.

"That sounds like John."

"He loves you."

Emori stops at the door, glancing back at John's body. 

"I know."

* * *

_She'll kill you if she thinks it will get you out._

"I am not going to tell you how to take me out. You will not use that knowledge responsibly."

_Getting people's minds back isn't responsible? You parasites are more full of shit than I thought._

"You are very antagonistic for someone who wants me to get out of your head."

_You're very high-and-mighty for someone who is gonna get pulled out of my head._

"You humans are idiots," Flamekeeper snaps. "Taking me out improperly will kill you."

For once, Murphy is actually quiet. It is very nice, Flamekeeper thinks.

"I can show you how to do it if you promise to put me somewhere safe," he says. "Send me to another planet; I do not care which."

_Sounds good to me._

"You sound crazy, talking to yourself like that," Bellamy says. Flamekeeper looks up to see him standing in the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest, but he looks more curious than angry. He takes a step forward. "Is Murphy really still in there?"

_Of course I am._

"He is very loud."

Bellamy's lips twitch. 

"Of course he is. Are you going to tell us how to get you out?"

_Yes you are. I want my body back._

"On one condition."

Bellamy raises one eyebrow. 

"You're not exactly in a position to make demands."

"If you try to take me out without knowing how, you will shred his brain. If you want him, you must do what I want."

_I thought you parasite fuckers were supposed to be nice._

"Having you stuck in my head does not make for a good mood," Flamekeeper snaps back, forgetting momentarily that Bellamy is watching. Bellamy lets out a short laugh.

"I'll assume that was Murphy saying something sarcastic as usual." He snorts. "I don't know how Emori puts up with him."

_Fuck you, Bellamy._

"As I was saying," Flamekeeper continues, ignoring the voice in his head, "only souls know the proper way to get another soul out of a body."

"Souls?" Bellamy laughs again, this one short and mirthless, more like a bark than a laugh. "You lot take over people's bodies,  _murdering_ them, and you have the fucking nerve to call yourselves souls? You're the most soulless creatures I've ever met."

Flamekeeper swallows, his eyes flicking to the gun at Bellamy's hip. Bellamy follows his gaze and chuckles.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to use this on you," he says. "Emori would put a bullet between my eyes if I even tried."

Flamekeeper shudders at the thought. Humans were so violent. It is no mystery why the Seekers are trying to find the remaining pockets.

_Yeah, to murder us. You've got your own flavor of violence. You not using guns doesn't make it any better._

"I want to be sent to another planet," Flamekeeper says. "One far away from this one. The hosts here - they are too emotional. I want a peaceful life, without voices in my mind."

"Done," Bellamy says easily. "As long as you show us how to take you out of Murphy's head and how to send you to this distant planet, we'll do what you want."

Some of the fear leaves Flamekeeper at this promise and in his head, Murphy snorts.

_You're getting what you want. Good. I can't wait to have my damn body back._

* * *

Emori paces back and forth, stringing her hands through her hair. John's body has been walking around, the parasite inside telling them how to get things ready for the operation. They've had to kidnap another "soul", this one a boy Monty knew when they were younger. He is lying face-down on the cot in the small medical tent that Clarke set up. Clarke finally tells her to sit down in the corner and "fucking relax." Emori does, tucking her left hand into her pocket. She wishes that John, the  _real_ John, was there. He would grab her left hand, the one that's twisted and not quite right, and brush his thumbs over the knuckles in the way he knows will calm her and say something stupid and sarcastic. He'd know how to make her smile.

"Emori."

Emori looks up at John's body just as he winces and demands, "What would you have me call her?"

"Excuse me?"

"He does not like it when I say your name," the parasite explains. Emori's lips twitch.

"That's..... sweet, in a way."

The parasite huffs.

"It is annoying. He is very loud."

"Good." Emori stands. "What do you want?"

"Everything is ready. You said that you would like to watch, so that you can perform the procedure on John."

"Excellent." Emori follows to the table. Clarke is waiting over Jasper's prone body, a scalpel in hand. Emori watches carefully as Clarke follow's the parasite's instructions on how to remove the one in Jasper's head. Monty waits close by, clinging onto his unconscious friend's hand. Finally the damn thing is out (Clarke says it's pretty, but all Emori sees is that thing in John's head, controlling him) and Jasper sits up slowly, his whole body shaking. Monty wraps his arms around his friend, pulling him off the table. Emori looks away, her cheeks burning. It feels private, like something she is intruding on.

"That's it," John's body says. "I grabbed enough medicine to last you a few months at least."

"Good," Emori replies. She grabs Bellamy's gun out of his holster and whips it around, hitting John hard in the head. He collapses to the ground and a part of her screams at what she's done, but the rest is in control and it pulls words from her mouth. "Get him on the table. We're getting that thing out now."

* * *

"John."

_Emori's sitting in the passenger seat, her feet up on the dash. She's laughing at something clever he's just said._

"John, please wake up."

_The sun is shining through the windshield. They're driving along the lake, driving to that spot that's good for a picnic._

"John, I swear to God."

_His heart is light. There are no aliens out here, no body-snatchers. Just him and Emori and the expansive forest and the sweet taste of freedom._

"John,  _please_."

He can feel his body. He can  _feel_ it, not as a passenger anymore. He's in control. His fingers twitch.

"I think he's waking up. John, can you hear me?"

He's alone. There is no annoying voice in his head, telling him to go away, trying to force him into a corner. He's himself again.

"John. Get the fuck up already."

His lips curve into a smile as he opens his eyes and sees her. It's Emori, leaning over him with a half-relieved, half-irritated expression. The irritation melts away when he meets her gaze and her eyes fill with tears. He sits up, ignoring the way his head aches and spins, and wraps his arms around her, relishing in his ability to. After months of dreaming of her and wishing he could pull her into him and never let go, here she was. 

"Emori," he says, and the name has never been sweeter on his tongue.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> this was all way better in my head but now it's out so take it
> 
> I honestly actually cannot decide if i like this enough to leave it up so please let me know what you thought.


End file.
